525,600 minutes

wala medyo 1000 eons na kong hindi nag blog.


1. Depression sets in when you realize that you can't control everything and you can't think of the solution to every problem.

2. You realize you are only human after all and you are limited by your physical and mental humanness.

3. After 4 years of studying Eng'g you realize that you don't know why you're there but then you know you just love the college and your course.

4. simple things always amaze you when you've slept 8 hours last night.

5. It's so hard to blog when you have things that you want to keep to yourself. You're not keeping secrets just that you don't want everybody to know what's happening with you sometimes.

6. You are excited about something only to realize it's been a month since you were waiting for it and there is still no reply.

7. Brilliant. Everything seems to be brilliant, beautiful and good when you look at things in Christ's perspective. I've got to learn this still.

Ten Things

i'll try to write about ten things...

work
i am trying to find a summer internship job/work. I need it for my scholarship. i just find it so hard to squeeze my mind for the essay questions. think.think.think. please pray i get one.

mcdonald's
this may seem so "boboish" but i realized i like mcdo's hamburger over burgermcdo. if you don't know the difference...there is.

baby
just a little while ago, we went to Kuya Eric's house. after waiting for sometime, he and his wife were blessed with a baby boy. it's really true that babies give joy. baby EJ was so cute.

friendster
i don't know why we get so addicted to friendster. as of 1130 tonight, i have 216 friendsters. medyo kapagod lang magtingin or maghanap ng friends. but actually, i've been able to communicate with my friends who are on the other side of the world and those i haven't seen for years.

story
i am not a writer nor a person who can speak with a million words. that's why i took up Chem Eng'g. but i am trying my best to improve that. i am writing a short story right now...but i still don't know how to continue it. but i will share it to all of you when i finish it. it's about a couple, sunset, sunken garden, and love. all characters are fictional,if there is any similarity to real life people and situations, it is not intentional. watch out for it!

LOTR ROTK
i saw ROTK last Sunday. IT was SOOOOOOOOOO good! yup. There are a few things aside from the wonderful story and effects that i liked. When i went out of the movie theater, i felt that i came from a sermon. the two points that made me think were (1) when the men went to battle, they were usually outnumbered by the orcs but they fought anyway. they fought not to win. Courage. being ready to die. (2) we are given tasks which may be too big for us but we can still do it. We may think we are small. Frodo was given the task not even men, wizards od elves could have handled as he did.

her
...elegant...

eight
nine
ten
okay so i wasn't able to write about ten things. medyo antok na kasi! nek taym aabot din ako sa ten

...one life...

OKAY!!!!!

So okay... matagal na ako di nagblog at medyo binago ko na rin ung layout pero wala paring entry... so dahil marami ng nagrereklamo eto na po.


What has been happening to me nga ba...
mga kwento ng kinuwentang singkamas:

My so called singing career
yup. I do have one. hindi lang siya showbiz. para kay Lord po. It's been 6 years na pala since i joined our church choir. It's been very fun for me kasi i love singing and the choir helped me develop my voice. Plus lang yon kasi I really enjoy singing to God every Sunday. Well last Christmas...December 21, 2003, sige di na Christmas, Ay sa di inaasahang pangyayari ay nagsolo na po ako. First tym so sobrang kinabahan medyo no choice na kasi nawala na yung mga dating soloist sa choir. ang ganda lang nung song...it's about Joseph and how he felt and what went through his mind that time. a few lines from it
Why me, I'm just a simple man of trade
Why Him, with all the rulers in the world
Why here, inside a stable filled with hay
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl

National Conference
IVCF held its National Conference last December 26-30. It was a time of rejoicing, celebrating and Praising God for His faithfulness. I've been reunited there with some of my KC mates who i missed so much. I got to strengthen the bonds as well as enjoy their company once more. There were great speakers including the pioneer, di mo akalaing buhay, groovy, one of a kind, Lola Gwen Wong. but one talk that i really remember, because sobrag tama to the heart, ay yung kay Pastor Nomer. one word...Consecrate.

On Love
I would like to write something about some mattters of the heart...but if i write it here there would be chaos. There's this girl that i really admire. more than admire i really like her company though i haven't seen her for sometime now. God told me last June that when I pray I should ask Him in Jesus name. But I don't know when the right time for praying for someone is. This year he gave me two passages...Matthew 6:8 and the other one is a secret. Kausapin niyo na lang ako. I thank God for Love.

Well, That's it!
I 'll write again soon...that's a promise.

"One Life!"

...getting my feet wet...

hey! don't think that the title of this blog is symbolic coz it ain't!
it's 11:17 am and my feet are wet.
i just finished an experiment in my laboratory class a while ago, which includes putting water into a pail, then weighing it then doing it for thirty times. well you also measure the pressure dorp, etc, etc. myt be a boring topic but it is what i did today and in the process i got my pants and shoes wet. grrr. un lang.

/* FIRE */

i was writing this blog...sobrang haba na niya and then...nabura ko lahat. GRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
So isusulat ko ulit.

other postponed blogs muna...

LCDC
Yup i was there! LCDC 2003 The Real Revolution: Conquer Transform Claim for Christ! Last October 20-26, i directed LCDC. I learned a few things. I thought LCDC would be work, work and more work for me but actually i enjoyed it. God blessed me with a wonderful exec, great set of camp staff, "good" campers. He taught me that He was the real Over-All Director and i was just His instrument. He is the source of all my strength and wisdom. He also reassured us that he is the Great Provider. There were no major problems in LCDC, just major lessons and major changes in the lives of each person in it. Praise God!

Great Wonders
Last semester, i was so busy. I was preoccupied by alot of things on top of my academics. I was very much involved with planning LCDC, I was busy with SVCF, I was also busy with the church youth band and ISCF and so the list goes. There were even times when I wasn't able to attend to some of my studies. Just when I thought that it was my worst semester in college, it turned out to be the best since my first sem in UP. I was really overjoyed because i wasn't expecting it. naka-CS ako finally! Praise God!!!


eto na ung...

Fire! FIRE! fIRE! FiRE! FIrE! FIRe! FIRE!!!
Brownout kagabi. So kinailangan naming gumamit ng kandila para magkailaw ang aming bahay. ok diba, romantic...NOT! hahaha! boinks! So kumuha ako ng isang kandila at ako'y pumasok na sa aking kwarto. I placed the candle at my shelf...way high above so it will light the whole room (I can hear the song playing"...it is better to light just one little candle than to stumble in the dark...") I looked and checked if it was near any books. nope it wasn't near the books, won't do any harm. WRONG! I then laid down on my bed and ako'y nagmunimuni. I checked on the candle once in a while. it was still ok. munimunimuni. then i fell asleep. ngooooork! Nagising na lang ako... nasusunog na ang shelf ko! my shelf is on fire!!! fuego es mi... (ummm di pala ako marunong magspanish!) i tried to control the fire. Buti na lang my sister heard me and she brought water to quench the fire. In matter of minutes napatay na namin ang FIRE. at basa na ang aking room. miraculously, my books were not burned. well ok some of the spines were but not completely burned. No significant object, like my wallet or notebooks, were burned. I realized that the candle holder was plastic and when the candle was already too short it burned the candle holder. nagdrip yung plastic at kumalat yung apoy, then napunta pa sa pabango (na flammable din) and the fire grew from there.

Not so serious reflections regarding the incident
- Never use plastic candle holders
- Never sleep or go in a sleep conducive position when you have a candle burning
- There are times when we need to disagree with Points of Grace (Keep The Candle Burning)
- I love to sleep
- We can use flashlights or lamps instead of candles
- Liwanag is the best brand of canldles (i wasn't paid to advertise this. it's a matter of opinion.)
- i don't like brownouts except when the sky is clear and i can see the stars clearly.
- Never think that it can happen to you
- plastic is plastic. it burns. it doesn't smell nice when it's burning.
- natrauma ako. di muna ako matutulog sa kwarto kasi ...

Serious Reflections about the incident
- I am grateful to God for this life that He gave me. I'm still alive! Pwedeng hindi na ako nagising at nasama na ako sa bahay na nasunog. Thank you talaga po Lord na ginising niyo po ako at wala gaanong nangyari sa amin.
- I needed a wake up call. magising sa mga realities ng buhay.
- God is so good!
- I love my sister! Totoo.


...ayan kasi sabi ko wala pang blog-worthy story kaya tagal na akong di naglalagay ng entry kaya, Tenen!

sana kinapulutan ng aral ang aking kwento. HAHAHAHA!

/*sad*/

today, i'm sad : (

it's funny though, cause usually i like being sad at times (since it makes me feel alive) but now is not one of those days that i enjoy sadness. another funny thing is the reason why i am sad. this morning, i had an exam. it was a bit hard. and i'm suppossed to have another final exam tomorrow but i am exempted from taking the exam. what made me sad is the fact that though i'm exempted in this subject's finals, my other exams weren't that good. they are those "i could have been more careful and done better" kind. i am so disappointed with myself for always coming up with mediocre performances.

before i thought that i was just being pressured by the high expectations of my family or sometimes my own self-expectations. that when i don't meet these expectations i disappoint them and myself. i don't like high expectations because i am pressured. i don't like people having the notion that i am supposed to do good because i am just that. (i am not being narcissistic or self-praising. i really feel people have very high standards for me). so sometimes i don't give everything that i have in what i do.

i realize now that when i think of these reasons and think of my expectations and others expectations, i think that things are all about me. When i rebel against the standards it's about me...i don't want pressure. it's the big I.

but the reality is, it's not all about me. my life, my relationships, my friends, my studies. they are not about me. everything in this world is supposed to be about God, for God, and because of Him. So when i come up with a mediocre grade or perfomance, it is not who is disappointed the most, not my mom or my family, it is God. and that is why i am sad. I feel that at a large portion of my life i have not given God what's due Him, i have not given my best, my everything. i don't just shortchange myself, i shortchange God. I am so sad because i remeber what He has done for me, what He gave me and what i give in return. i am ashamed of myself.

Lord, I am sorry that I don't do my best in everything that I do. I know that you only deserve the best and sometimes that's not what you get from me. I didn't realize that what i am doing is not for me but for you. I was thinking of my self and not You. I am sorry.

It's all about You, Jesus.
And all this is for You.
For Your glory and Your fame.
It's not about me.
As if You should do things my way.
You alone are God and i surrender, to Your will.

Jesus, Lover of my soul.
All consuming fire is Your gaze.
Jesus, I want You to know.
I will follow You all my days.
For no one else in history is like You.
And history itself belongs to You.
Alpha and Omega, You have loved me.
And I will share eternity with You.

? temporary insanity ?

hey! i just like that phrase. it's something that many criminals use to be acquitted in a trial. it's also a great excuse for any misdemeanors you can do.

But for me...i don't really use it as an escape from any wrongs, sins or whatever... it's just a rest from sanity. rationality. etc. etc. a rest from a whole day of thinking and computing wondrous chemical engineering equations, mass balances, energy balances, comm 3 speeches, es 13 loads and lap joints. and so on....

whahahahahahaha!

happiness is not two kinds of ice cream! it's seeing God's goodness and living for His joy.

/* tic tac */

rock...

i've been collecting rocks since three years before. well actually, not rocks, just stones and pebbles. they are not special looking gems or glittering ores but plain stones. It's not their appearance that made them special but where they came from or what happened the day I got them. sometimes these rocks don't really look beautiful but they mean a lot.

when you look at a stone, what do you think about? what does it remind you?
we may parallel stones with people's personalities or emotions. a person characterized by a stone is someone tough, hard but sometimes insensitive. somebody firm yet at a certain point breaks down to soil. or maybe somebody common. just like any other pebble in the field. or let's go in deeper and see that a rock is a person with a cold heart without compassion. so what's my point then? i don't have a point! hahaha! in this paragraph that is i was just thinking...

i look at my collection now and see each stone as it is and what it stands for. like my stones, we may not be gems or precious ores. we can just be pebbles like others. but in God's eyes and being in his "collection", we are precious. more than precious.


wala lang!




.....

/* 8 exams in one week */

yup! tama ang nabasa niyo! well I'm veeery busy right now with my acads. I've got 8 exams in 4 subjects. Imagine (and I only have 6 subjects this sem)
*sigh*

STORY:
Praise God!
I had an exam this morning. It was really God's grace that made me survive the test. Why? well... I was studying last night.I was prepared to stay up until 3 am the next morning just to finish reading everything I have to read. I had some coffee brewed, already taken a bath, got some cornick to much on. Everything was perfect [Wow prepared!]. Then I woke up in my room (I was studying in the living room) and realized I had fallen asleep, sleepwalked and snored the night away [WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaH! panic panic!]. I woke up at 630 am and guess what? [WHAT???] My exam was at 900 am. so practically I only have 2 1/2 hours to finish reading and understanding every plus eating breakfast and traveling to school.
I know I won't be able to cover and remember everything and so I really prayed that God would give me the wisdom I needed, that I would be able to answer correctly and I won't fail the exam.
This afternoon I went to our department and I saw my teacher. I didn't want to talk to him because I'm scared of how my exam answers would turn out. But he told me (without me asking) the result of the exam. I got a high score! as in high!
Truly God answers prayers. He answered mine...

well now I gotta stop blogging and start studying again... *sigh*

Salamat po!

/* Puyat na naman */

graabeee! puyat na naman dahil sa 134.
134? I you love? nope, dili at hindi!!!
Chemical Engineering 134: Equipment design 2

bakit ba kailangan mapuyat?
bakit mayroong mga araw na di makatulog ng maaga?

(enter Jason Mraz) sleep all! sleep all day!

sarap ng kape ng Starbucks. pagpuyatan. ang kaibigan mo ay kape!

*yawn*
*blink*

gulo ng mind ko ngayon!

type.type. blog. blog. galunggong!

kring!!!

wraaaaaak en rol!

senti

{ if }

If God would appear before you today...
...what would you tell Him?
...what do you think he will tell you?

If God would appear before you today...
...how would you see Him?
...how do you think He will see you?

If God would appear before you today...
...would you be able to tell Him you love Him?
...will He see your sincerity?
...or would He feel lied to?

If God would appear before you today...
...would you run towards Him and embrace Him?
...or would you run away because of shame?

Hmmm...Think about it!!!

/* On Tatay */
6. Who would you most like to meet (Dead or alive)? Why?

well, I saw this question while I was looking at my friends site. She got it from Friday Group Therapy. And what's my answer?

The first person that entered my mind was my father. yup! uhuh!
We'll he's already dead. He actually died when I was 4. We didn't know what specific illness fell upon him. He died on March 12, 1987. just a few weeks after my fourth birthday. I miss him... a lot. Actually, I wasn't able to know him much personally but I hear a lot about him. My nanay tells stories about how good and loving he was to us and to his friends. He was also very serious about his faith. In fact, before he fell into a coma, his last words were Jesus, Jesus.

Sometimes I think about what will happen if he didn't die.

I wonder.

It's hard growing up without a father to teach you things about life that only a father knows.

But I can't turn back the hands of time and this is what God wants. He knows what's good for me. I trust Him.

"Its her her and her eyes today, that just simply take me away. And this feeling that I'm falling further in love makes me shiver but in a good way...



Have you ever thought of what you'll do in the future? or what'll happen to you after 10 years? I am really speechless when people ask me how I see myself in the future because to be honest I'm ... clueless. Yes, very much! I usually answer them whatever enters my mind that time. Well, I've been thinking for quite some time now about what do I really want to do. I mean after I finish my 5 years in engeineering, what will happen next? I am faced with a thousand options and actually I don't know what to do. Sometimes I say "a matagal pa yan." But the reality is that its not staying that way.

The funny thing is, when I think about my options, my posible career paths, only two things come into consideration:
1). What the Lord wants me to do
2). How I will be able to support and at the same time, spend time with the family I will be having.

I was really surprised at the second one because unconsciously I was planning ahead for a family I don't even know. Who'll be the one I'll share it with. The one I'll grow old with, and hold in my hand recounting our years together on our rocking chairs while apos run around. Ok! so I'm a pathetic romantic. But hey isn't this what everybody hopes for? (Am I allowed to think about these things? now I'm doubting my sanity)



...It's a masterful melody, as she calls out my name to me. and she purses her lips, bats her eyes and she plays, with me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say...




One thing is for sure though. The future may be uncertain for my human brain. But everything (my life, my being, past and future) is in the hands of one true and faithful God. He showed His love at the cross and because of Him I can live free. He knows my future and that's enough reason to be secured. Thank you Jesus!



...and I love her with all that I am. "